The Shadows Betray You Because They Belong To Me
I'm considering suicide... I've thought about slitting my wrists for the past few days. I'm a loser and I'm stupid, fat and ugly, I don't mean anything to anyone and even I can't stand myself. I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and PTSD for a long time now and I'm so tired of all this pain. I've attempted suicide before but failed every time. I'm afraid though that if I do kill myself now, I'll hurt my best friend. How can I avoid hurting her?
Anonymous

heart-filled-with-hope:

How can you avoid hurting your best friend?
By staying alive. 
By surviving. 
By seeking the proper help.
By hanging in there and fighting each day until it gets easier. 
By making it through another day.
By kicking your mental illnesses in the ass. 
By being in existence.

You say you don’t mean anything to anyone?
You just said you had a best friend. 
You don’t want to hurt her which means you care about her and she cares about you. 
So don’t you dare say that you don’t mean anything to anyone because that’s just not true.
You would be surprised at how many people actually care. How many people are affected by your existence. Teachers that watched you grow up, relatives that may not see you as often as they’d like but still think of you during the holidays, friends from your past who were shaped to become who they are today because they knew you, people who sit by you in class and appreciate seeing you even if they don’t say anything because they might be too shy, and the thousands of people you haven’t met yet because you haven’t lived most of your life yet. Your future and the fate of thousands of people are intertwined like a tangle of yarn. They may not have met you yet but you might be the greatest thing to happen to them. You mean something to them. 

It’s okay to ask for help. There are always ways to get the help you need, the help you deserve. I know you don’t want to live with all of the pain you’re going through, I know you’re tired. But you can’t give up. 
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem or problems.
You can get better, you can recover. You don’t have to be in pain or in darkness the rest of your life. You can be happy again. 
So please don’t give up. Don’t even think about blinking out of existence. Your life still demands to be lived. So keep living it. 

I almost killed myself and I look back and realize it would have been the worst mistake of my life.
Of course, I wouldn’t have known that if I had died and put my entire family and all of my friends through the terrible process of finding me and mourning me and burying me and clearing out my room and blaming themselves. I would have been gone forever. No second chances there. No apologies. 
But I survived. I have the scars to prove that I put up a fight and I have the knowledge to know that I can get through any storm. I got the help I needed and I kicked my depression and eating disorder and self harm and self hate in the ass. I said “No. Not today” and I lived. 
And I am so glad I did. Because I got to see my life get better. I got to see myself grow up. I got to see my scars heal. I got to finish school. I got to fall in love. I got to fall out of love. I got to eat amazing things. I got to watch great movies. I got to fail tests. I got to pass tests. I got to save people from ending their lives. I got to hear from those people years later when they thanked me. I got to lose friends. I got to meet interesting people. I got to get my first tattoo. I got to explore. I got to travel. I got to live. 

If you give up, you’ll be hurting more people than just your best friend. And she will never forgive you if you leave her. For the rest of her life, she’ll have to know that she lost her best friend.
I almost lost my best friend. I had to see her in a hospital bed because she tried to OD. To this day, that is still one of the scariest moments of my life. 

So please, don’t give up. Don’t you dare give up. 
This life is too remarkable for you to flush down the toilet. Because things won’t stay this way forever, they won’t. They will get better. 
I believe in you, I believe in anyone fighting this battle. You can survive and you can recover. 

Good luck~
If you need anything else, please privately message me or send your advice to my recovery/advice blog

laughingtillweredead:

laughingtillweredead:

You guys should go follow me so we can like each others pictures and be weird together. K

But really. Let’s get weird and comment how dope we are.

laughingtillweredead:

laughingtillweredead:

You guys should go follow me so we can like each others pictures and be weird together. K

But really. Let’s get weird and comment how dope we are.

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loki-friggason:

My haND SLIPPED.